Rare Exports

In my last blog post on the history of Santa Claus I mentioned how researchers such as Phyllis Siefker and Jeffrey Vallance have argued that the character of Santa Claus derives many of his attributes not only from such figures as St. Nicholas of Myra and the English Father Christmas but from the monstrous Bigfoot-like wildmen of European legend as well.

It is unknown how many people's conceptions of Christmas and Santa have been effected by such theories but one man who clearly has been is Finnish filmmaker Jalmari Helander. In 2003 Helander and small crew made a short film entitled Rare Exports based on such scholarly conjectures. The film proved immensely popular and in 2005 a sequel Rare Exports: The Safety Instructions was made. Now a feature film slated for 2010 is in the works.

Below I have posted the original shorts films dubbed in English. I would love to tell you more about what you're in for when you view these but frankly words escape me...

You can visit the Rare Exports website here and the feature film's official website here. Also check out their Facebook page for some awesome desktop backgrounds.

Santa Claus: The Man, the Myth, the Monster

With Christmas just around the corner it seems now is as good a time as ever to tackle what is perhaps the biggest Christmas myth of all. No not the birth of Jesus (sorry, next year) but Santa Claus. Santa Claus, without a doubt, is the most recognizable icon associated with the holiday this side of the Atlantic. But where does old Kris Kringle come from?

Well as it turns out that is a rather loaded question. Santa has one of the most complex, confusing, and utterly fascinating back stories of any mythological character ever. What that means is that there is no way I can possibly cover every facet of St. Nick’s history unless I start writing a book (which I may one day do), so what this really is then is Santa Claus: A Very Short Introduction.

Before beginning however it would be fortuitous to remind readers of two things. One is that Christmas, which Christians first began celebrating in the 3rd and 4th-Centiries C.E., was given the date of December 25th in order to compete with the Roman festivals of Sol Invictus (a day in honor of the Sun) and Saturnalia (a harvest festival in honor of Saturn).

The second is that elsewhere in Europe the time of year we now recognize as “Christmas-Time” originally carried much darker connotations. In Eastern Europe it was seen as a time of great darkness when demons and other monsters roamed the Earth while the people of Northern Europe identified this time with a great supernatural nocturnal hunt which could be equally dangerous to mortal bystanders.

It was in this world that the figure of Santa Claus first emerged.

The Man

As many people probably know Santa Claus is, at least in part, based on a real life person; St. Nicholas of Myra. Nicholas was born in 280 C.E. in Patara, Lycia (what is today modern Turkey) into a wealthy family. As an adult he became the Archbishop of Myra and became famous for his generosity and numerous miracles.

The two most famous stories about Nicolas tell how he once saved a poor man’s three virgin daughters from a life of prostitution by secretly leaving a bag of gold for each of them three nights in a row. The other story is much darker and relates how during a famine a butcher murdered three youths, cut them up and placed their dismembered parts in a pickle barrel to cure; his intent being to pass off their flesh as ham. Nicholas arrived at the butcher shop, however, and sensed that something was amiss. Discovering the boys’ bodies in the barrel Nicholas then performed a miracle to rival those of Christ himself and revived the dismembered youths, restoring them to life.[1]


Nicholas died in 343 C.E. on December 6th and was buried in a modest tomb in Myra. In 540 an ornate basilica was built over Nicholas’ tomb but in 1087 Italian merchants broke into the tomb and spirited Nicholas’ remains off to Bari, Italy where they still reside to this day.

That same year (1087 C.E.) the Roman Catholic Church also officially granted Nicholas sainthood and bestowed upon him the title of patron saint of children, sailors, fishermen, merchants, repentant thieves, pawnbrokers, archers and pharmacists. He was also granted the impressive title of “Supreme Controller of the Winds.”

As a saint, Nicholas’ fame grew quickly and he soon became the most popular figure in all of Christendom, right behind Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary. In France and Germany alone two-thousand churches were dedicated to him while another four hundred were consecrated under his name in England. In America St. Nicholas was named the patron saint of New York City in 1809.

Because of his reputation for generosity and gift giving Roman Catholics began exchanging gifts on December 6th, St. Nicholas’s feast day (the anniversary of his death). However, during the Protestant Reformation (1517-1648) Martin Luther, in an attempt to abolish the veneration of saints, moved the day of gift giving from December 6th to December 25th (Christmas Day) and attempted to replace St. Nicholas with the Christ Child, a substitution which did not last.

The Myth

As St. Nicholas’ fame as a yuletide gift giver spread throughout Europe his image and story began to synchronize with other similar characters one of the most important of these being England’s Father Christmas.

Also known as King Christmas, Sir Christmas, or Old Christmas the character of Father Christmas dates back at least as far as the 14th-Century, though many folklorists argue that the tradition goes back even further to pre-Roman times and the Druids. Father Christmas is traditionally depicted as an elderly man with a long white beard, dressed in robes with a crown of holly on his head. He is seen riding either a donkey or a goat; animals traditionally associated with pagan fertility rituals. In exchange for gifts English children would leave Father Christmas an offering of mince pie and alcohol.


In England Father Christmas’ presence denoted a time of great feasting and merrymaking, complete with rowdy drunken behavior. Such behavior incensed England’s Puritan denizens who in 1644, upon seizing control of Parliament, officially outlawed Christmas. It would be sixteen years before King Charles II would finally restore Christmas as a national English holiday and usher in the return of Father Christmas.

Though Father Christmas and St. Nicholas would eventually merge in 19th-Century America helping to give birth to the character of Santa Claus, England would nevertheless still retain their traditional gift giver who, as it turns out, stands apart from jolly old St. Nick quite well in having a much more fiery and combatant nature. Examples of this can be found in both J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Father Christmas Letters (1920-1942) and C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (1950) which feature Father Christmas battling goblins and handing out weapons respectively.

Further north in Holland the legend of St. Nicholas arrived via the Spanish (In fact to this day children in Holland are told that St. Nicholas hails from Spain not the North Pole). The Dutch called St. Nicholas by the name of Sinterklaas and depicted him as a bishop dressed in long robes, riding a magical white flying horse and distributing presents with the help of a Moorish assistant named Zwarte Piet (Black Peter).[2]


When Dutch immigrants came to America they brought Sinterklaas with them where 19th-Century American children slurred the name into the familiar Santa Claus. The first written mention of Santa Claus in America comes from famed author Washington Irving (Rip Van Winkle, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, etc…) who in 1809 described Santa Claus as a Dutch burgher, flying over rooftops in a horse drawn wagon dropping presents down chimneys.

In 1821 a children’s book by an anonymous author featured what is recognized as the first modern depiction of Santa Claus, showing a fur clad man with a white beard driving a sleigh pulled by a single reindeer over a snowy rooftop. Where this image came from is one of the great mysteries of modern folklore.[3] Nevertheless the following year this image was codified with the writing and publication of Clement C. Moore’s famous poem A Visit from Saint Nicholas, better known today as Twas the Night Before Christmas.


Following the publication of Moore’s poem the popularity of Santa exploded amongst American children. Popular depiction of Santa from this time – the most famous being those of political cartoonist Thomas “Nasty” Nast – mostly kept inline with the poem’s description. One issue that was left up to the artist’s imagination, however, was what color was Santa’s fur suit. Early color depictions usually rendered it brown, this being a logical color for fur, but it was soon decided that this was too boring a color for a figure as lively as Santa Claus who soon found himself dressed in blue, black, white, orange and purple furs. Green and red fur suits were particularly popular and in the 1940s soda-pop manufacture Coca-Cola officially decided, via a series of popular ads, that Santa Claus’ colors should be red and white; the same colors as those used by the Coca-Cola Company itself.


The Monster

In the 6th-Century in Austria, St. Nicholas was given his first sidekick. No not loveable toy making elves but Krampus, a shaggy demon with curled horns, a long red tongue and a talent for punishing naughty children with switches and chains. Like St. Nicholas the popularity of this Christmas devil soon spread and became a part of holiday traditions in Austria, Switzerland, Bavaria, Slovenia, western Croatia and Italy. In Germany Krampus became Knecht Ruprecht or “Black Rupert.”


Such Christmas monsters were likely inspired by old pre-Christian legends which told of dangerous Bigfoot-like beasts known as wild-men who roamed the dark winter nights searching for children. Researchers like Phyllis Siefker and Jeffrey Vallance have argued that today’s Santa Claus has much more in common with these mythical wild-men of Europe than with the Christian saint whose name he uses. Vallance has even pointed out that the name Nicholas may not actually be derived from the saint at all but rather from Nikolas; a 19th-Century colloquialism for the devil.


Part of Siefker and Vallance’s argument rests on the fact that Krampus and his kin failed make it across the Atlantic and into American Christmas tradition. So where did they go? The answer is that like Sinterklaas and Father Christmas, Krampus was absorbed into Santa Claus. Indeed, beginning in the late 19th-Century (1880s and especially 1890s) depiction of Santa Claus began showing the gift giver performing various Krampus-like acts including not only threatening children with switches but in two remarkable illustrations stuffing a (presumably) naughty child into his sack (to carry off who knows where?) and in another beating a child tied to a tree!


Siefker and Vallance also argue that the amalgamation of the Krampus further explains Santa’s furry outfit. Both Sinterklaas and Father Christmas where always traditionally depicted wearing long robes, so the fur must have come from shaggy old Krampus.

Conclusion

In conclusion one can see that the figure of Santa Claus truly is a complex and multifaceted character. So now that I’ve said my piece about him I strongly encourage readers to go out and learn more about Santa in his many and various forms. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Pictures

At Top: Santa, we hardly know thee.

Second down: A statue of St. Nicholas with the Three Boys in the Pickling Tub. South Netherland, c.1500.

Third: An Eastern Orthodox icon of St. Nicholas.

Fourth: England’s Father Christmas riding a goat.

Fifth: In Amsterdam, Sinterklaas rides into town on a white horse to distribute presents with the help of his Moorish assistants.

Sixth: One of Thomas Nast’s famous drawings of Santa Claus (1881)

Seventh: In the 1940s Santa Claus had his first run in with American consumerism, and it forever changed his life.

Eighth: This German Christmas card shows St. Nicholas and his demon lackey Krampus at work, carrying toys to good children while carting off the bad ones.

Ninth: This giant statue in Lapland depicts the countries' heraldic Wildman. With his red skin, white beard and green leaf garb he looks an awful lot like Santa and is, in fact, probably an ancestor of his.

Last: With Krampus having failed to make it across the Atlantic it was now up to Santa to become the source of both yuletide rewards and punishments as this card from 1907 shows.

Sources and Additional Information (Partial List):

Fertility Goddesses, Groundhog Bellies & the Coca-Cola Company: The Origins of Modern Holidays ( 2006) by Gabriella Kalapos, Spirits, Fairies, Leprechauns, and Goblins: An Encyclopedia (1996) by Carol Rose, The Encyclopedia of Saints (2001) by Rosemary Guiley, Christmas Curiosities: Odd, Dark, and Forgotten Christmas (2008) by John Grossman, Santa Claus, Last of the Wild Men: The Origins and Evolution of Saint Nicholas, Spanning 50,000 Years (2006) by Phyllis Siefker, Santa is a Wildman! (2002) and Lapp of the Gods (2005) by Jeffrey Vallance
________________________________________________________
[1] In France the character of the murderous butcher went on to become a traveling companion of St. Nicholas known as Le Père Fouettard (Father Spanky).
[2] Traditionally Zwarte Piet is always portrayed in live parades by a caucasian actor (or actors) dressed in stereotypical Moorish clothes and donning a wig and blackface (See photo number five). As one can imagine this concept is far from uncontroversial in the Netherlands today and is seen by many black citizens as racially insensitive and an open endorsement of slavery. In 2006 attempts were made to substitute the traditional Zwarte Piet with a less racially offensive one. Public outcry however saw the return of the traditional Zwarte Piet the following year and in 2008 the Van Abbemuseum in Eindhoven canceled a planed exhibit on the racial implications of the Zwarte Piet character after receiving numerous death threats.
[3] Of particular interest to many folklorists is the question where the reindeer motif originated. Some researchers have suggested a connection between Santa’s flying reindeer and the flying reindeer in Siberian shamanism, though this seems to be a bit of a stretch.

Stallo

Having already introduced readers of my blog to Krampus the Christmas Devil (who I am happy to say is gaining popularity in America, having recently made an appearance on the Colbert Report) it is now time for us to get acquainted with the rest of Krampus' family of dark Old World yuletide monsters.

One of Krampus' close relative is the Stallos; Yeti-like yuletide beasts from the country of Lapland home of the Sámi people.

The Stallos are traditionally depicted as hairy giants (sometimes with horns) dressed in the chain-mail armor of a Viking berserker; a fact which explains the name Stallo which literally means “metal man.” Though the Stallos are never descried as being intelligent they are regarded as cunning and have access to magical powers such the ability to see the future.

Though the Stallos possess the same impressive stature as traditional Scandinavian giants they should not be confused with them. Author Johan Turi notes that the main difference between the Stallos and the giants was that the giants did not “hate mankind like the stallos did.” In Sámi mythology, giants are also regarded as being kin to mankind (both decedents of the Sun god) while the Stallos are described as being “half human and half troll or devil.”

Perpetually plagued by thirst the Stallos roams the countryside on Christmas Eve looking for fresh water to drink. Sámi yuletide tradition involves driving a stake into the ground near the closet body of water so that the Stallos can easily find it. If a Stallo does not find any fresh water to quench his thirst than he will be forced to enter the home and bash in the skulls of the resident children lapping up their brains and blood instead.

On a related note, lakes that lack fish or are covered in a heavy coat of green moss are said to be poisoned by a Stallo body which was evidently buried nearby.

The Stallos could also prove a threat to young women as the monster “delights in macabre acts of genital mutilation of his innocent victims. (Stallo pokes his staff up the skirts of young girls.)” In the myths and legends of the Sámi it is possible for a young girl to be courted and even married off to a Stallo though the marriage will ultimately end badly. Stories like these are used by Sámi parents as a kind of reverse of the traditional Beauty and the Beast fable with the lesson here being that marriage to “a beast” of a man is ultimately a bad idea.

Though a freighting semi-supernatural monster the Stallo was still mortal and could be killed. In the legend of Potto-Podnie a young shepherd boy confronts a Stallo and overcomes the monster beheading the beast with its own sword.

The legends of the Stallo were probably based in part on the Sámi people’s encounters with foreign invaders such as the Vikings. Subsequent Sámi generations kept the legend alive by prescribing the traits of the Stallo to other human invaders such as the Tschudes, Christian missionaries, and in the 1940s the Nazis.

Today the Stallo remains a reminder of Christmas' darker roots in world mythology and legend.

Pictures:

At Top: The Lapland heraldic coat of arms depicts a Stallo-like wildman on it. Similar wildmen can be seen on heraldic shields throughout Europe.

Middle: A knight confronts a Stallo-like wildman in Hans Burgkmair's "The Fight in the Forest ," 1500 CE

Sources/More Information:

Santa is a Wildman (2002) by Jeffery Vallance

The Stallo Throughout Sámi and World History by Andrew F. Besa

Krampus on the Colbert Report

Last Christmas I introduced readers of my blog to Krampus; Santa's demonic yuletide companion of Old World Alpine tradition. Luckily this year, however, I won't have spread the scary solstice spirit alone as Comedy Central funnyman Stephen Colbert has also decided to share the tradition of Krampus with his many viewers and has even invited Krampus himself to come visit the studio.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Blitzkrieg on Grinchitude - Hallmark & Krampus
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

"Festival" by H.P. Lovecraft

It's Christmas time again here at Of Epic Proportions and that means another month full of exciting and frightful holiday myths and legends. To kick things off this year I've decided to start with a poem by one of my all-time favorite authors; early 20th-Century writer
H.P. Lovecraft (1890-1937).

Though Lovecraft is best remembered today for his innovative work in the realms of science-fiction and horror, the man was also an accomplished poet and a true lover of Christmas. The following poem by Lovecraft was original published in the December 1926 issue of Weird Tales magazine under the title "Yule Horror."

There is snow on the ground,
And the valleys are cold,
And a midnight profound
Blackly squats over the world;
But a light on the hilltops half-seen hints of feastings unhallowed and old.

There is death in the clouds,
There is fear in the night,
For the dead in their shrouds
Hail the sun’s turning flight,
And chant wild in the woods as they dance round a Yule-altar fungous and white.

To no gale of earth’s kind
Sways the forest of oak,
Where the sick boughs entwined
By mad mistletoes choke,
For these powers are the powers of the dark, from the graves of the lost Druid-folk.

And mayst thou to such deeds
Be an abbot and priest,
Singing cannibal greeds
At each devil-wrought feast,
And to all the incredulous world shewing dimly the sign of the beast.

Elves

“Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvelous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
Nobody said elves were nice.
Elves are bad.”
- Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies (1992)

Today when people think of elves there is a good chance that one of two images will probably come to mind. One will be the tall, blond, pale skinned and pointed ear elves of Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings film trilogy based on the books by famed fantasy author J.R.R. Tolkien. The other image will be that of the diminutive and cute elves of Christmas, such as those seen in Rankin/Bass’s beloved yuletide special Rudolph the Red–Nosed Reindeer.

As it would turn out both images are a far cry from the elves found in the myths and folklore of Britain, Iceland, Scandinavia, and Western Germany.

Originally, the term elf denoted all types of fairies. A classic example of this is the well known German fairy-tale the "Elves and the Shoemaker” in which the diminutive cobblers in question are not actually elves but rather an entirely separate race of supernaturals known as brownies.

Eventually the term elf would come to signify a certain class of tiny, humanoid beings who could shape-shift at will and who dwelled in forests, hollow tree trucks, old long-barrows and ancient burial mounds from which they emerge at night to dance in the light of the moon. It is unclear exactly how small elves were thought to be since many legends describe elves and human interbreeding which gives one the impression that they were at least large enough to properly perform sexual acts with adult humans. In England male elves are described as looking like old men while female elves are described as having the appearance of young beautiful women.

Amongst the many different mythologies which tell of elves it is the elves of Teutonic mythology (called Alfar) which are the most fully developed and of which we know the most about. Teutonic elves are divided into two groups; light elves (Liosalfar) and dark elves (Dökkálfar) or black elves (Svartálfar). Dark elves are described as having been born from the maggots who fed on the flesh of the dead giant Ymir. Their skin was “darker than pitch,” they lived underground, and worked as blacksmiths for the gods. Interestingly these dark elves were also seen as bringers of fertility and were thus the object of religious worship – something we certainly don’t associate with elves today.

According to Prof. Jesse L. Byock of the University of California there is evidence to suggest that elves were seen as being just as important as the gods (especially amongst the common folk) and were the subject of a widespread cult in both Scandinavia and Iceland. The 11th-Century Christian poet Sigvat Thordarson describes being turned away from a farmstead in Sweden where he sought shelter because the farmer’s wife was sacrificing to the local elves. An example of such a sacrifice can be found in Kormak’s Saga, a 10th-Century Icelandic work which describes a healing ritual in which a bull would be slaughtered and the blood smeared upon an elf mound and the meat left as a meal for the elves.

In contrast to the dark elves are the light elves that are described as being “whiter than the sun.” These elves did not live underground or in forests but rather in a celestial realm called Alfheim. However unlike there dark brethren, these light elves are largely undeveloped characters. So undeveloped, in fact, that some mythographers have even questioned whether they were actually ever believed in at all.

Perhaps the biggest misconception about elves is that of their very nature. People today often perceive elves as friendly, cheerful, even noble – very different from the troublesome and even down right malicious characters found in myth and folklore.

In Iceland, for example, elves were routinely blamed for the theft of babies, cattle, milk, and bread. They were also believed to be capable of enchanting young men and keeping them prisoner in their realm for years at a time – ala Rip Van Winkle.

Elsewhere in Europe, elves were blamed for a wide variety of problems, many of which are remembered by the folkloric names they were given. Elves were seen as responsible for much mundane troubles as hiccups, tangled hair (called Elf Locks) and nightmares (Elf Dreams) as well as much more serious issues such as birth defects (Elf Marked), strokes (Elf Twisted), splenomegaly [an enlargement of the spleen] (Elf Cake) and disease amongst farm animals (Elf Bolt).

Even when acting in a manner that some may describe as charitable elves still proved to be a handful, Danish folklore describes elves rewarding housewives who keep a clean home but at the same time not hesitating to pinch some bread from the kitchen.

Like all fairies, elves are vulnerable to iron and may also be driven away by an “elf cross” which can take the form of either a traditional cross or in some cases a pentagram.

So what of our modern day conceptions of elves?

Well to start with the tradition of ‘Christmas elves’, like that of the alleged elves in The Elves and the Shoemaker, is actually something of a misnomer. Actual elves have never been associated with Santa Claus, toy making, or Christmas. The characters which we call ‘Christmas elves’ today with their red and green clothes and pointed hats are actually relatives of the Norwegian nisse (or gnomes) and the Swedish tomtars who do have a connection to the character of Santa.

As for Tolkien’s elves, who since their inception have successfully managed to completely reshape the appearance and behavior of elves in popular-culture, they are something else entirely. Tolkien first began writing about elves as early as 1917 in his Book of Lost Tales and would later incorporate them into both The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Tolkien’s elves came about as the result of the fluid mixing of various mythological ideas most notably; Teutonic light elves, the Celtic fairy-gods or Tuatha Dé Danann, and the Christian conception of angels. For Tolkien, elves were tall, blond, pale skinned, spoke a variation of Finish, had Celtic-sounding names and, most importantly, possessed pointed or “leaf shaped” ears. If any one fact should convince anybody of the mark Tolkien left on the popular conception of elves it should be that prior to Tolkien there is no mention of elves having pointy ears.

For the vast majority of people today elves are no longer a subject of fear or worship but rather simply characters in fantasy fiction and role-playing games, and the elves depicted within are always decidedly post-Tolkien. However, this is not to say that some fantasy authors have not made an attempt to move back to the more traditional, more malevolent elves of myth and legend – as the opening poem by acclaimed British fantasy/humor author Terry Pratchett shows.

It is also of interest to note that according to a June 2004 episode of Journeyman Pictures, a London based independent news site, that 10% of Icelanders currently profess to believe in elves and fairies, while another 80% say that while they don’t necessarily believe in them they still don’t want to mess with them.

And Finally a Bit of Dorky Myth-Science Trivia from Terry Pratchett…

Question: What color is elf blood?

Answer: Elf blood is green. Since iron is lethal to elves (as it is to all fairies) it would be impossible for elves to have hemoglobin-based red blood which contains iron. Copper-based green blood is used by some animals such as arthropods and mollusks so it’s the obvious alternative.

Pictures:

Center: Elves dance through a field in Swedish painter August Malmström's (1829-1901) painting Älvalek (1866)

Bottom: Orlando Bloom as iconic Tolkien elf Legolas from Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings films.

Sources: Spirits, Fairies, Leprechauns, and Goblins: An Encyclopedia (1996) by Carol Rose, Sagas of the Norsemen: Viking & German Myth (1997) by Jacqueline Simpson, et al., The Prose Edda (2005) by Snorri Sturluson, translated by Jesse L. Byock, The Vikings: Life, Myth, and Art (2004) by Tony Allan, The Annotated Hobbit (2002) by J.R.R. Tolkien, edited by Douglas A. Anderson, Lords and Ladies (1992) by Terry Pratchett, and the "Elves and the Shoemaker" at SurLaLune Fairy Tales.com

"The Vampire Days"

In his excellent book Slayers and Their Vampires: A Cultural History of Killing the Dead, Prof. Bruce A. McClelland has this to say about the curious relationship which exists between vampires and the Christmas holiday…

“In Bulgaria, the ‘twelve days of Christmas,” from Christmas Eve through Epiphany, or Jordan’s Day (January 6), are known as the ‘Unclean Days.’ Other names for this period are quite revealing: they include ‘Pagan Days,’ ‘Ember Days,’ ‘Unbaptized Days,’ and even ‘Vampire Days.’ This brief midwinter period represents a time when, it is believed, evil spirits are able to roam the earth…In South Slavic belief, people who die during this period invariably become vampires. Also, children who are born or conceived during this period have special powers and may themselves become vampires.” (Page 56-57)

Prof. McClelland goes on to add that due to this heightened activity amongst evil spirits and the undead that all Christian rites were to be put on hold until after January 6th since such ceremonies only seemed to succeed in provoking the ire of such monsters. These ceremonies included birthdays, weddings, baptisms, and even funerals - the body, McClelland says, would still be buried, but the service would have to wait. In addition to this, sex and other pleasures of the flesh were also forbidden by the church, which was probably a good idea since according to tradition one of the vampires many powers include the ability to render human couples (especially newly weds) impotent or sterile.

It may also be of some interest to know that in Bulgaria vampires are traditionally disposed of via bottling. A sorcerer will drive the vampire into a bottle using an icon of a saint. Once the vampire is in the bottle, the vessel will be tossed into a raging fire and destroyed.

Also according to some medieval European traditions children born on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day are also equally susceptible to becoming werewolves later on in life.

At Top: "Cute Gothic Bat Christmas Card" by the Order of St. Nick.

Sources: Slayers and Their Vampires: A Cultural History of Killing the Dead (2006) by Bruce A. McClelland and Dracula: The Connoisseur’s Guide (1997) by Leonard Wolf.

The Eve of the Wild Hunt

Tonight (December 24th) is Christmas Eve. All over the world parents are hurrying their children off to bed, telling them that they best get to sleep or else Santa Claus won’t come and deliver any toys.

This tradition, that one need be asleep before the arrival of Santa and his team of reindeer, goes back (like nearly all Christmas traditions) to the days of pre-Christian Europe when the reason for the season was not toys, candy and tidings of good will but the fear of the dark and what was lurking within it.

Long before Santa Claus and his reindeer, people living throughout Europe associated what we today call the Twelve Days of Christmas (Dec. 25th - Jan. 6th) with a celestial phenomena they called the Wild Hunt. As the name suggests the Wild Hunt was a great hunt held by a band of supernatural huntsmen who rode through the sky on flying horses (or goats or deer) in the company of fearsome hounds.

To hear the Wild Hunt was apparently a terrifying thing and men and women unfortunate enough to be out during the hunt would fling themselves to the ground or cover their faces when they heard it pass overhead. If one did not take such precautions the results could be dire including by not limited to misfortune, madness, and death. One also risked being “spirited away” by the huntsmen to whatever “otherworld” they hailed from. It is this belief that would later help to influence the idea that children needed to be in bed and asleep before Santa arrived.

While it was clear that one was best off avoiding the Wild Hunt at all costs, what was less clear was who led this great nocturnal event and why. In Scandinavia and Western Germany the leader was often identified as Odin (Wōden in German); King of the Teutonic gods. In Wales it is Gwyn ap Knudd, King of the Welsh Fairies, who leads the hunt. While in England, Scotland, and France the leader of the hunt was is either identified as being the legendary King Arthur himself or some other great national hero. The quarry of the hunt was equally mysterious but often proved to be some sort of mythical creature such wood-elves, trolls, or the nymph-like moss maidens.

With the advent of Christianity the Wild Hunt was demonized and became a hunt for damned souls and unbaptized babies. As for the hunt’s leader; cultural heroes were replaced with infamous villains while pagan gods were replaced by the devil or Death himself. As before it was still considered highly ill advised to look upon the Wild Hunt when it passed by and one rather morbid English folktale tells of how a imprudent onlooker returning from the market one night caught sight of the hunt and called out to the head Huntsman to inquire if he might share in that evening’s catch. In response the Huntsman tossed a small bundle down to the man and galloped off. When the man unwrapped the bundle he found his own dead infant son inside.

And if that doesn’t convince your children to go to bed I don’t know what will.

Merry Christmas!

At Top: Åsgårdsreien by Norwegian painter Peter Nicolai Arbo (1831-1892). Note: The leader of the hunt (adorned with a red cape, crown, and holding a traditional Norse war hammer) can be seen in the center of fray, while on the right hand side two hunters abduct up two beautiful, young, (and naked) women.

Sources: Spirits, Fairies, Leprechauns, and Goblins: An Encyclopedia ( 1996) by Carol Rose, Christmas Curiosities: Odd, Dark, and Forgotten Christmas (2008) by John Grossman, and Sagas of the Norsemen: Viking & German Myth (1997) by Jacqueline Simpson, et al.

Political Personalities Spice Up Nativity Scenes In Naples

According to NBC Chicago shortly after word got out concerning the popular political nativity scene figurines, Italian police stepped in and shut down the vendors who were selling them.

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus

The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus by beloved children’s book author L. Frank Baum is something of a forgotten classic of the yuletide season. Baum, best known for his timeless fantasy classic The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900), published The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus in 1902, in which he transforms the legend of St. Nicholas into a story of truly epic proportions.

Abandoned as a baby, the infant Santa is found in the mythical Forest of Burzee by the immortal Ak; Master Woodsman of the World. Ak places the infant in the care of the lioness Shiegra and later the wood nymph Necile. It is Necile who names the child Neclaus or Nicholas, a term meaning “Necile’s little one” in old Burzee.

As time passes Nicholas grows up amongst the fairies, elves and sprites who instruct him in all kinds of magic. Upon reaching young adulthood Ak informs Nicolas that he is growing too old to stay amongst the magical beings of Burzee and must go and live amongst mortals once again. Nicholas settles in the nearby Laughing Valley of Hohaho, where he is visited frequently by the elves and fairies of the forest. To keep him company Necile gives her foster son a little kitten named Blinky.

Upon returning to the mortal world Nicholas soon encounters the horrors of war, brutality, poverty, child neglect and abuse. Upset by the cruelty and hate around him Nicholas decides to try and find someway of bringing joy into the world. One day a boy, named Weekum, from the village near Nicholas’ house gets lost in a snowstorm and blacks out. Nicholas finds the boy and takes him back to his cottage to recuperate. When the boy wakes he finds Nicholas carving of wooden model of Blinky. Enraptured by the toy cat Weekum asks Nicholas if he can have it, to which Nicholas naturally says yes. It is then that Nicholas realizes that a simple way to bring joy to the world is to make and deliver toys.

With the help of the fairies and elves, Nicholas begins creating toys for all the boys and girls in the village, secretly traveling by night and placing them in their homes. However, Nicholas’ plan to spread cheer is soon threatened by a group of evil beings called Awgwas (essentially Baum’s version of Orcs) who steal Nicholas’ toys so they can make children sad.

Nicholas complains to Ak about the Awgwas and Ak attempts to settle things with their leader through talk, however negotiations break down and war is declared. The Awgwas assemble an army of goblins, giants, demons and dragons to fight Ak and his band of fairies, elves and sprites.

You can watch this scene below as imagined by stop-motion animation studio Raskin-Bass who adapted The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus into a one hour television film in 1985:

Though outmatched in size, the fairies’ magic proves strong enough to defeat the Awgwas and their army, making it safe once again for Nicholas to deliver his toys.

As time passes, and Nicholas grows older, there are more and more children that have heard of him and wish to receive toys from him. To accommodate the growing number of children and the longer distances he must now travel, Nicholas acquires a team of reindeer from the sprite of the deer Wil Knook. However, Wil Knook fears that Nicholas will wear out the reindeer with his constant trips back and forth every night and threatens to take the reindeer away. To keep this from happening Nicholas agrees that he will do his work all on one night and allows Wil Knook to pick the night. Wil Knook picks December 25th since it is at the end of year and gives the reindeer a chance to go a whole year without working.

The story ends with Nicholas approaching the end of his mortal life. Ak calls a conferences with all the immortals of the world at which he petitions for Nicholas to be bestowed the “Mantel of Immortality” as a reward for his life of selflessness. After much debate the immortals eventually agree that Nicholas is indeed worthy of this great gift and bestow immortality upon him, transforming him into Santa Claus.

Merry....Atheist?

The Order of St. Nick, an online greeting card company, recently unveiled a new line of seasonal prefabricated parcels just in time for the holidays. However, rather than dealing with the sundry traditions of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza, the Order of St. Nick has instead decided to embrace the season’s most neglected group of yuletide practitioners; atheists.

By “atheists” the Order of St. Nick appears to be specifically referring to people from the Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris vein of atheism, people whom I shall refer to as Darwinian Atheists for lack of a better term. Darwinian Atheists are individuals who argue that the Theory of Evolution as proposed by 19th-Century naturalist Sir Charles Darwin disproves the existence of God, by providing a completely natural explanation for the origins of life on Earth. In fact, seven out of the eight cards in the Order of St. Nick’s “Atheist Christmas Cards” collection either reference Sir Charles Darwin or the Theory of Evolution directly.

Though atheism in and of itself is actually a form of religious belief – many eastern religions like Buddhism and Taoism are atheistic in that the belief/worship of a deity is not a mandatory requirement of a devotee – Darwinian Evolutionists deny/refuse to allow their “beliefs” be categorized as such. In fact, Sam Harris in his book Letters to a Christian Nation (2006) even goes so far as to arrogantly declare that "atheism is not a philosophy, not a worldview…it is simply the way things are."

Nevertheless, while the jury may still be out on whether or not atheists of the Dawkins and Harris variety constitute a “religion” the introduction of atheist Christmas cards – such as the one above which depicts Darwin as Santa – in addition to such things as Darwin Fish magnets and the formation of an official Darwin Day holiday (2/12) only help to further the case for some scholars that, at the very least, Sir Charles Darwin is on the way to becoming a mythical, quasi-religious figure.

On a related note it is worth mentioning that the copy of A Dictionary of Creation Myths (1994) by acclaimed Prof. David Leeming of the University of Connecticut which sits upon my book self includes both “Darwin’s Theory of Evolution” and “The Big Bang Theory” amongst its extensive catalog of myth with the simple justification that "myths are considered truth by the cultures from which they first emerge - at least until they are 'exposed' as 'mere myth.'

Krampusumzüge on YouTube

Happy Krampus-Day Everyone!!!

As it would turn out YouTube has a ton of footage of the Krampus Day celebrations from overseas which help to give you a pretty good idea about what exactly Krapus Day and the Krampusumzüge or "Krampus Run" looks like.



Above; the Krampus getting into a wrestling match out on the street.



Above; Krampus with green eldritch fire.



Above; And you thought Santa only paled around with elves...



Above; Don't take your dog to a Krampusumzüge.

Thanks to burgy99 for uploading these videos, whoever you are....

Krampus the Christmas Devil

With the exception of a lyric from the popular Christmas carol, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,” the devil is a mostly forgotten character when it comes to the holiday season here in the U.S. Children living in the States grow up knowing that if they are good Santa Claus will bring them toys and gifts. They are also occasionally told that if they are bad Santa will punish them by leaving them coal. But this is rare now a days as it is now considered improper to threaten children with such reprisals. The same is not true in mainland Europe however, where they have forgotten the coal in favor of a far more devilish threat.

In the Old World countries of Austria, Switzerland, Bavaria, Slovenia, western Croatia and Italy children learn that they truly must be “good for goodness sake” because if they are not they will be paid a visit not by St. Nick but by Krampus the Christmas Devil. Originating in 6th-Century Austrian folklore, Krampus is a demon covered in shaggy hair and donning curled horns with a long red tongue. A companion of Santa, Krampus roams the cold, dark nights of December carrying a large sack and sliding down chimneys seeking naughty children to stuff in his bag and beat with his switch.

How did a demon come to be a companion of old St. Nick? The legends are unclear, though as you will notice in many of the pictures and photos Krampus is typically depicted dressed in chains, a symbol that he is under St. Nicolas’ charge. According to one legend those chains are the same ones which once bound St. Peter, thus fueling them with enough divine power to bind the devil himself - or at least one incarnation of him anyway.

In Europe Krampus has become a certified Christmas celebrity, rivaling Santa himself. Every December 5th (the day proceeding the Catholic Church’s feast day in honor of St. Nicolas) children and adults of all ages all over Europe celebrate Krampus in a festival that is equal parts Christmas, Halloween and Mardi Gras. There is food and drink and vendors of all kind. People wait along the streets for the Krampusumzüge or “Krampus-Run”, the main event in which dozens of individuals dressed as Krampuses run through the streets threatening and menacing children as well as occasionally smacking a pretty young girl on the rear with their switches.

Unfortunately Krampus has had little success infiltrating the highly commercialized Christmas of the U.S. with San Francisco being the only city in America to have a (strictly adult oriented) Krampus Day celebration. Still Krampus has occasionally popped up in other places. He appeared in the season one Christmas episode of the popular Adult Swim animated series The Venture Bros. as well as in a G4 Christmas commercial.

So tomorrow don't forget to wish everyone you meet a Very Merry Krampus-mas!!!

Sources and Additional Information:

Spirits, Fairies, Leprechauns, and Goblins: An Encyclopedia (1996) by Carol Rose

Christmas Curiosities: Odd, Dark, and Forgotten Christmas (2008) by John Grossman

The Devil in Design: The Krampus Postcards (2004) by Monte Beauchamp

Santa's Not-So-Little Helper (2002) by Clay Risen

Krampus: The Sinister Sidekick of Santa (2008) by R.J. Evans

Krampus: A (Funny) Overview of the Character

San Francisco's Krampus Day Site

All Postcard and Photo Images from Monster Brains

Krampus, as seen on The Venture Bros., from The Mantis Eye Experiment